Mrtzcmp3
  • Smoker Aquarium
  • The Dog Had To Be Trained
  • The 90's
  • Pound Puppies
  • Bar Scene In California
  • Too Much Information (Cause I'm The Dad)
  • Pads
  • White Trash Road Race
  • A Snake In The Toilet
  • Weather and News (LP Version)
  • Here's Your Sign Christmas
  • Surfing Lesson
  • People Amaze Me (Here's Your Sign)
  • Now That's Awesome (comedy bit)
  • When Did Shrapnel Become a Fashion Accessory?
  • Here's Your Sign (Don't Mess With Us)
  • Whale Watching (LP Version)
  • Quitting Smoking (Album Version)
  • The Differences in Years
  • Here's Your Sign
  • Introduction
  • Factory Outlet Malls
  • Dorkfish
  • Caught Big Time ()
  • I.G. Joe (Album Edit)
  • Going to the Fair
  • I.G. Joe
  • Nobody Disciplines Their Kids Anymore
  • Flying
  • Bungee Jumping and Parachuting
  • Discovery Channel
  • Here's Your Sign Reloaded
  • Christmas In The Country Holiday (Album Version)
  • After Twenty Years of Marriage
  • More Here's Your Sign
  • Tell Me What I'm Thinking
  • Weather And News
  • Deer Hunting
  • I Love Golf
  • We've Got a Full House
  • Jolly Roger Party Boat
  • My Daughter's Growing Up
  • Aged And Confused
  • Smokers
  • Minivan
  • Clubbing At 50
  • Things Have Changed
  • T-Ball And Indian Guides
  • Argue Naked
  • Caught Big Time

Did a show in Buffalo, New York
Landed at the airport
I go down to get my luggage, It doesn't show up
So I go to the lost luggage office where
Everybody's in such a good mood
God, who applies for that job?
Who says, I want to work in lost luggage?
You don't have a good day
You might as well have a job empty on Porta-Potti
'Cause you're just going to catch crap all day long

But I know it's a thankless job, so I'm trying to be nice to someone
I said, excuse me she goes, can I help you?
I said, yeah I said, you lost my luggage
She looked me right in the eye and said, has your plane landed yet?
I said, no, princess, I'm having an out-of-body experience
I'm just checking on it
Here's your sign
I took my family to the Winter Olympics two years ago
We rent a car at the Salt Lake City Airport
I get one with a ski rack because we're going to do some skiing

So I'm putting our skis up in the rack
The guy right in the car right next to me goes you going ski?
I said no
We put them on top of the car in case we flip over on an icy road
Here's your sign
I was in the park flying a kite with my kids
A guy walks right up next to me and goes
You all flying a kite?
Nope, fishing for birds
Here's your sign

I was in an office building the other day
I'm standing on the bottom floor in front of the elevators
...

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