• Depression Is No Fun
  • I Don't Love You Anymore
  • 493 Ruth
  • Jobs Schmobs
  • Unlimited Breadsticks, Soup and Salad Days
  • No Rest for the Whiny
  • 25 Hour Goddamn Telethon
  • Bike Test 1 2 3
  • Side Projects Are Never Successful
  • Pizza Claus Is Comin' to Town
  • The Last Party (Foul)
  • Get Warmer
  • Never Trust a Man Without A Horribly Embarrassing Secret
  • Even Winning Feels Bad
  • Old and Unprofessional
  • Blow Your Brains Out on Live TV!!!
  • Syke! Life Is AWESOME!
  • Congratulations, John, on Joining Every Time I Die
  • I'm a Panic Bomb, Baby!
  • Big Plans of Sleeping In
  • Stand There Until You're Sober
  • Does Your Face Hurt? No? 'cause It's Killing Me!!!
  • Stuff That I Like
  • Ready... Set... No!!!
  • My Response to an Article in Alternative Press
  • Everybody That You Love
  • 5 Funerals
  • Happy Anterrabae Day!!!
  • Showerbeers!
  • Sweet Home Cananada
  • Future 86
  • Dude, Get With the Program
  • Vocal Coach
  • All Alone in My Big Empty Apartment
  • Campaign for a Better Next Weekend
  • Funcoland vs. The Southern Electorate
  • It Ceases to Be "Whining" If You're Still "Shitting Blood"
  • It Shits!!!
  • It's Official! We're Booorrrrrriiiiing!!!
  • Cold Chillin' Cold Chillin'
  • 25!
  • King of Minneapolis Pts. I & II
  • Fresh Attitude, Young Body
  • Wednesday Night Drinkball
  • Sorry, Brooklyn. Dancing Won't Solve Anything.
  • Saddr Weirdr
  • Grudge Report
  • "FRRRREEEEE BIIIIIIIRRRRD!!!!!! FRRRRREEEEEEEEE BIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRDDDDD!!!!!!!"
  • Bomb the Music Industry! (and Action Action) (and Refused) (and Born Against) Are Fucking Dead.
  • (Shut) Up the Punx!!!

I know it's hypocritical to point fingers at the people who point fingers
But when we all march to the beat of the same different drummer
Yeah, the steps start to come off like clockwork
I guess I'm saying we could stand to be nicer

Because when you're in a basement talking shit and interspersing it with speaking in name drops and units
I must admit I'm not the best when on the defensive, I'd rather steal your whiskey than your heart in conversation
I'd rather break three strings a song then stick to a routine like I'm ripe for the picking after growing on a tree
And then talk about the industry, cross-market positivity with vinyl nerds and brightly colored, quirky messy record sleeves

I'd rather be vomiting and I despise vomiting
Blugh

But thanks for the beer. I appreciate your time but can we talk about something else?
If you really think that you and I are on the same page, you can go ahead and fuck yourself
Because you've got coke and good looks, I've got overdue library books
So let's be friends and change the subject now

'Cause the last thing I wanna be is another negative asshole
Like God speaks through my acoustic guitar and I've got the perfect set of morals
On a dry erase board at the front of the house
Follow these conditions or we'll kick your ass out
...

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