• Killer Carlin
  • The Sickest
  • War Pictures
  • Mothers Club
  • Capt. Jack & Jolly George
  • Person to Person
  • The Cool World
  • Airport Security
  • Angels
  • Religion
  • Fear of Germs
  • Guys Named Todd
  • Harley Davidson
  • There Is No God
  • House of Blues
  • American Bullshit
  • Cigars
  • Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television
  • Things You Never See
  • Rape Can Be Funny
  • Some People Are Stupid
  • Parents Of Honor Students
  • How's Everybody Doin'
  • Answering Machines
  • A Modern Man
  • Motivation Seminars
  • Feminist Blowjob
  • Gun Enthusiasts
  • Man Stuff
  • Baby Slings
  • "My Daddy"
  • Singers With One Name
  • Telephone Mimes
  • Euphemisms
  • Hands-Free Telephone Headsets
  • White Guys Who Shave Their Heads
  • Businessmen
  • People Who Wear Visors
  • Things You Never Hear
  • Rich Guys In Hot Air Balloons
  • Family Newsletters
  • Names
  • Music on Answering Machines
  • Abortion
  • People Who Misuse Credit Cards
  • Class Clown
  • People Who Oughta Be Killed: Self-Help Books
  • Kids and Parents
  • The Suicide Guy
  • NASA-Holes

I am a modern man
A man for the millennium
Digital and smoke free
A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect
I've been up linked and downloaded
I've been inputted and outsourced
I know the upside of downsizing
I know the downside of upgrading
I'm a high-tech low-life
A cutting edge state-of-the-art
bi-coastal
multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond
I'm new wave, but I'm old school
And my inner child is outward bound
I'm a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable
I interface with my database
My database is in cyberspace
So I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive and from time to time I'm radioactive
Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve
Ridin' the wave, dodgin' the bullet and pushin the envelope
I'm on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs
I've got no need for coke and speed
I've got no urge to binge and purge
I'm in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar
A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary
...

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