Mrtzcmp3
  • Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
  • Lumberjack Song
  • Sit on My Face
  • Galaxy Song
  • I Like Chinese
  • Every Sperm Is Sacred
  • Christmas In Heaven
  • Never Be Rude to an Arab
  • Finland
  • Money Song
  • Penis Song (Not the Noel Coward Song)
  • Spam Song
  • I've Got Two Legs
  • Eric The Half A Bee
  • Meaning of Life
  • All Things Dull and Ugly
  • Accountancy Shanty
  • Decomposing Composers
  • Henry Kissinger
  • Medical Love Song
  • Oliver Cromwell
  • I'm So Worried
  • Penis Song
  • Always Look on the Bright Side
  • Brian Song
  • Knights Of The Round Table
  • Bruces' Philosophers Song
  • Introduction
  • Look On The Bright Side Of Life (All Things Dull And Ugly)
  • Knights of the Round Table (Camelot Song)
  • I Bet You They Won't Play This Song On The Radio
  • Sit On My Face (Monty Python Sings)
  • Travel Agent
  • The Meaning Of Life
  • Brave Sir Robin
  • Bookshop
  • Argument
  • French Taunter
  • String
  • Spam
  • I've Got A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts
  • Four Yorkshiremen
  • Eric The Half-a-Bee Song
  • Cheese Shop
  • Traffic Lights
  • Stoning
  • Are You Embarrassed Easily?
  • Rock Notes
  • Fish Licence
  • Nudge Nudge

Customer: (entering the bookshop) Good morning.
Proprietor (John Cleese): Good morning, sir. Can I help you?
C: Er, yes. Do you have a copy of "Thirty Days in the Samarkan Desert with
The Duchess of Kent" by A. E. J. Eliott, O.B.E.?
P: Ah, well, I don't know the book, sir...
C: Er, never mind, never mind. How about "A Hundred and One Ways to
Start a Fight"?
P: ...By?
C: An Irish gentleman whose name eludes me for the moment.
P: Ah, no, well we haven't got it in stock, sir...
C: Oh, well, not to worry, not to worry. Can you help me with "David
Coperfield"?
P: Ah, yes, Dickens.
C: No...
P: (pause) I beg your pardon?
C: No, Edmund Wells.
P: I... *think* you'll find Charles Dickens wrote "David Copperfield", sir...
C: No, no, Dickens wrote "David Copperfield" with *two* Ps. This is
"David Coperfield" with *one* P by Edmund Wells.
P: "David Coperfield" with one P?
C: Yes, I should have said.
P: Yes, well in that case we don't have it.
C: (peering over counter) Funny, you've got a lot of books here...
P: (slightly perturbed) Yes, we do, but we don't have "David Coperfield"
With one P by Edmund Wells.
C: Pity, it's more thorough than the Dickens.
P: More THOROUGH?!?
C: Yes... I wonder if it might be worth a look through all your "David Copper-
Field"s...
P: No, sir, all our "David Copperfield"s have two P's.
C: Are you quite sure?
P: Quite.
C: Not worth just looking?
P: Definitely not.
C: Oh... how 'bout "Grate Expectations"?
P: Yes, well we have that...
C: That's "G-R-A-T-E Expectations," also by Edmund Wells.
P: (pause) Yes, well in that case we don't have it. We don't have anything
By Edmund Wells, actually: he's not very popular.
C: Not "Knickerless Knickleby"? That's K-N-I-C-K-E-R-L-E-S-S.
P: (taciturn) No.
C: "Khristmas Karol" with a K?
P: (really quite perturbed) No...
C: Er, how about "A Sale of Two Titties"?
P: DEFINITELY NOT.
C: (moving towards door) Sorry to trouble you...
P: Not at all...
...

******* This Lyrics is NOT for Commercial use *******
(1409612056681)
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com. This Lyrics is NOT for Commercial use and only 30% of the lyrics are returned.

Copyright © 2019 | Mrtzcmp3