• Nellie the Elephant
  • Dig That Groove Baby
  • Spiders in the Dressing Room
  • Idle Gossip
  • She Goes to Finos
  • Sod the Neighbours
  • Dougy Giro
  • Ernie Had a Hernia
  • Glenda and the Test Tube Baby
  • I'm a Telly Addict
  • Stay Mellow
  • Blue Suede Shoes
  • Toccata in Dm
  • My Wife's a Psychopath
  • Alec's Gone
  • Bless You My Son
  • Melancholy Margaret
  • Poor Davey
  • Yul Brynner Was a Skinhead
  • The Final Countdown
  • My Girlfriend's Dad's a Vicar
  • Carol Dodds Is Pregnant
  • Back in '79
  • Olga Crack Corn
  • Modern Schools of Motoring
  • Deirdre's a Slag
  • The Lambrusco Kid
  • Fisticuffs in Frederick Street
  • The Sphinx Stinks
  • Drooling Banjos
  • She'll Be Back With Keith Someday
  • I've Got Asthma
  • Cloughy Is a Bootboy
  • Fiery Jack
  • No Particular Place to Go
  • Livin la Vida Loca
  • We're Mad
  • Tommy Kowey's Car
  • Harry Cross (A Tribute to Edna)
  • When You're Jimmy Saville
  • James Bond Lives Down Our Street
  • Terry Talking
  • Up the Garden Path
  • Wipe Out
  • Florence Is Deaf (but There's No Need to Shout)
  • Alfie From the Bronx
  • Pot Belly Bill
  • Sabre Dance
  • PC Stoker
  • Absurd-Ditties

Kick in the Asphalt
No Bull
It's a Kick in the Asphalt
My wife said I've gone clear around the bend
She says on racin' Sunday I become a different man
In my black jeans, black cap and racin' T's
I guess it intimidates her seeing all those number 3's

So to make her understand
I tell her I'm a racin' fan

'Cuz it's a kick in the asphalt
Burnin' up the blacktop
When the green flag drops
My heart flies
So when she wonders why
...

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