Mrtzcmp3
  • Lunch With Frankenstein
  • Pandering to the Locals!
  • My Immigrant Mom Talks Funny!
  • Socks and Shoes
  • Shaving the Pope's Pussy
  • Monica Lewinsky and the Three Bears
  • Flying on a Mexican Plane
  • My Daughter's First Date
  • Diarrhea Moustache
  • Phone Call from a Cranky Terrorist
  • If Baseballs Had AIDS on Them
  • Fake Tits/Real Beer
  • Abortion Doctor From Hell!
  • Certain Leaders in Government Look or Act Like Certain Pop Culture References!
  • Goodnight Assholes!
  • A Rapid Series of Comical Noises!
  • Women, Please Rinse Off Your Vagina and Anus!
  • My Wife's Crazy!
  • Weathermen Have Become, for the Most Part, Obsolete!
  • If you care
  • That One Show About Drugs and Stuff
  • Black Stuff
  • Me and Drugs
  • Sex on the Internet!?
  • Even Though I Am in the Closet, That Won't Prevent Me From Getting Cheap Laughs at the Expense of Homosexuals!
  • Silly Religious Crazies
  • REALLY Silly Religious Crazies. I Mean, Double, Triple Crazy!!
  • ...Or Worse
  • Austin Powers Saying "Yeah Baby"
  • Spiderman vs. Batman vs. Wonder Woman on the Rag
  • Where We Are Now Back In September '09
  • I Can't Get Beer in Me
  • Opening Song (The Sultan's Revenge)
  • Random Goofabouts
  • When All Is Said and Done, I Am Lonely and Miserable and Barely Able to Mask My Contempt for the Audience as I Trot Out the Same Sorry Act I've Been Doing Since the Mid-Eighties!
  • My Child Is Enthralling, Especially When It Says Something Unexpectedly Precocious Even Though It Doesn't Understand What It Just Said!
  • Lesson Learned
  • I've Taken a Popular Contemporary Pop Song and Changed the Lyrics to Comment on the Proliferation of Starbucks in My Neighborhood!
  • "You Go, Girl!"
  • You Go, Girl!
  • Welfare Dentist on a Bender
  • Although Indigent, Rural Families Have Little To Say In The Matter, Their Meager, Third Rate Public Education Has Kept Them Ignorant And Thus, Great Sources Of Ridicule!
  • Playing Pool With My Wife
  • Footprints
  • Amish Kid
  • Although Indigent, Rural Families Have Little to Say in the Matter, Third Rate Public Education Has Kept Them Ignorant and Thus, Great Sources of Ridicule!
  • You Go Girl! (Album)
  • Virgin Mary
  • High Times
  • When It Comes to Jews, Behavior One Might Perceive as Obnoxious and Annoying I Present as "Quirky" but It's Okay to Joke About It Because I, Myself, Am Jewish!

I think there is... there is one good thing that has come out of this
War in Iraq, and uh, just 'cause you gotta find a silver lining, you
Know, and... No, seriously, I'm not joking. I'm not joking, there is
One good thing that's come out of it, and that is, you know, let's be
Honest, you know, 10,000 less Iraqis. Yeah, come on people, those
People have fucked with us never, alright? Never, read your history
Books. Alright, um... Oh, I can't wait for Operation Rest of the
Brown Ones, that's gonna be a good one. That domino effect. Yeah
Syria's next, motherfucker, come on. No, um, the best thing about it
Is that, uh, for somebody like me, it gives me an opportunity to hear
All the country and western music that I've been missing, you know?
Seriously, 'cause I don't listen to shitty music, and I, um, I don't
I try not to, you know, um, I don't go see shitty movies, I don't
...

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